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Welcoming new students’ spouses to campus…and into our lives!

9/27/2019

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The adjustment required of new international students is enormous. But the adjustment of their accompanying spouses (typically a wife) is even greater. The level of English proficiency of many wives is considerably less than that of their student husband. While the husband had to pass an English proficiency test to even get an invitation to come to the university, his wife did not have to pass a test to join him.
 
Students come here typically on an F-1 visa, and spouses have an F-2 visa. Both visas are good for the term of the student’s studies. But the weekly experiences of a student and spouse are VERY different. The student gets on the bus with other students and may speak his native language to another student from his country. The rest of the time he is using conversational English to communicate—both speaking and hearing. He pays great attention because hearing accurately is critical to his success. His wife on the other hand may be fearful to go out of the apartment. If she does and encounters others, she may not be able to communicate or may be fearful. Cell phones and electronic language translators certainly help, but the wife’s intentionality and willingness to learn is a key factor. She may meet other women from her country who live nearby, but she will speak her native language to them. The spouses who have been here for a while can help the new spouses “learn the ropes.” But what if there is no one to help you or to teach you?
 
International Students, Inc. has initiated International Women’s Connection groups on many campuses. These are ideal for spouses to attend, get English conversational practice, and to learn skills needed to thrive while here. In addition, there are crafts, local trips and site-seeing, and often there are small children who are part of the groups. IWCs are led by female staff and volunteers who provide a loving and gentle place to learn how to adjust to this new environment. The staff and volunteers also serve as resources, cultural informants, sounding boards, and teachers.
 
If your campus does not have an IWC, ask the Lord if he would use you to start one. We have many resources online to help as well as a network of staff and volunteers already doing it who can help with questions, ideas, and resources.
 
Friendship Partner® relationships can also be a wonderful resource where the American takes the student wife under her wings. The Friendship Partner® also can provide transportation.
 
Principles cited in this blog: Spouses have a more difficult time with adjustment to the new cultural setting than students simply because of rate of exposure to the new culture and language. Relationships with fellow spouses from one’s own country can help, and International Women’s Connection groups are also very helpful.
 
Application for ISI ministry: Helping new student spouses (typically wives) is a critical part of the student’s adjustment. International Students, Inc. has several programs to help.
 
Next blog topic:  The adjustment of students’ school-age children they bring with them
 
Doug Shaw with Derrah Jackson

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Welcoming new students to campus… and into our lives!

9/20/2019

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Here we are again! A new fall semester beginning and thousands of new international students descending upon U.S. campuses. You can feel the excitement on each campus.
 
Our staff and volunteers are excited also—especially those who have ministered to students before. We pray that the Lord will lead the students to us whom He desires us to befriend, help, and share our lives with. We trust that the Lord also desires than and does so.
 
One of our roles with new students is to be a “cultural informant.” International students need someone with whom they can ask any question and receive a non-judgmental and factual answer. Sometimes those answers need to be nuanced because the issue is so complex. Questions can make us uneasy, like when a student asks us why our country “does not like” or “trust” his or her country. They need an answer, but it may not be a simple answer.
 
Sometimes we need to “prime the pump” so the student knows they can ask anything of us. We could say “You know that you can ask me any kind of question and I will be glad to answer you. When I travel to another country, I so appreciate my friends there who will be that kind of friend to me. Questions you may ask me could be like, ‘Are the police here good or bad?’ ‘What should I do if I don’t like my professor or I think my professor does not like me.’ ‘How do I date an American?’ or ‘’What could I do if I run out of money?’”
 
It is important for us who reach out to international students, and who desire to help them, to know where our personal boundaries are. We encourage all staff and volunteers never to loan or give money to students. Teaching a student to drive may have some unsuspected legal issues. Allowing a student to live with us in more that a brief temporary manner could get complicated. And there may be some questions that are too personal for us to answer.
 
We rejoice at the Lord’s goodness to bring so many new international students to the U.S. and to give us the opportunity to be their friend and to share our lives with them! Please pray for the Lord to guide the development of relationships for yourself, our staff, and our volunteers.
 
Principles cited in this blog: The Lord has given us a great privilege to be His instruments of grace and love to new international students. Students have so many questions for which we can be a cultural informant. We all should be clear about where our personal boundaries are in helping students.
 
Application for ISI ministry: Helping new students brings great joy to us and to the students. Sometimes we have to model what are acceptable questions students can ask us. Everyone needs to know their personal boundaries in relationships.
 
Next blog topic:  The adjustment of students’ spouses to living in the U.S.
 
Doug Shaw with Derrah Jackson

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